Making sense

I guess it's a journey everyone knows and has travelled to some degree. As a kid you think everything in the world will make sense, once you understand it. Over the years you experience things that are way more simple than you have expected, other things are so complex you really have to work to wrap you head around.

As a kid you just feel that this is a universe with a plan. Your parents have a plan, your teachers, everyone has a plan. So why should the universe be any different. Even as a kid you can dig into it and find out that most of the plan has to do with survival. Even happiness can be translated as being a state in which you are not in fear. Fear of what? Well, death.

Once you understood the concept of death, everything starts to crumble. As it turns out, the big plan is to survive just to die another day.

That's where religion steps in. Simply because it seems so stupid and wasteful, people claim that there is something after death, and that is actually what it's all about.

What that is and why we have to wait until we get there, why one ought to do certain things and ought not do others to be entitled to get there is not that well described. In fact, all religious concepts are very insufficient when it comes to logic. The main explanation is that it doesn't have to make sense, because it will all make sense in the end.

I'm happy for everyone who is satisfied with that. But to me it's like claiming that pudding that is not eaten yet, is made of industrial foam. When you eat it, it turns into pudding. Science can't penetrate this mystery because the foam acts the same way if you test it. It turns into pudding the instant it is tested.

As stupid this claim sounds, it's exactly as valid as the claim that life will make sense in the end.

Now there is another popular "explanation". Things have to die to make room for new things to be born. Mainly because things evolve towards ... uhm .. something better. Better for what? So the universe does have a plan then? What is the ultimate goal for life to evolve into? And why isn't it that way to start with?

The most simple answer is of course that it doesn't make sense. And some people are OK with that. But you can only be OK with the universe not making sense if you are OK with NOTHING making sense. So there is no reason why you should not jump out of the window. Life is fun you say? Well, yes but if it's all about fun, why does it have to end? That is no fun at all, especially if you spend your life knowing that all the fun will end.

I'm not satisfied. Not at all. And don't fucking tell me it will all make sense in the end. It's the END I have the problem with.

Spare me your explanation why it makes sense to you. You just hit your head with a brick long enough to think that. And spare me the "I don't mind" attitude, since every time you want something, you find a reason why it should be that way. So you do mind. Shape up and come out of the closet and read the bible, or the koran, or whatever claim satisfies you.

The only position that is valid is the "I don't care about anything but my own entertainment" but that, you should keep very private, since you are relying on everybody else to care about you. But I have the suspicion that most people secretly think that way. Especially the religious types. "It will all make sense in the end, so give me those coins.. you don't really need them!"

I'm done for today. Making sense makes me hungry.